Thursday, February 10, 2011

Conspiracy Theories, Boredom and Reality


Those who know me know I have a very wry and very dry sense of humor. Today I posted a series of fictitious posts on Facebook to amuse my friends;
they are meant to be a joke...and a silly one at that!
Okay, I've picked the conspiracy theory that I'm going to believe. The Knights Templar are hiding in a vast subterranean cavern under Yawkey, WV with their treasures and are waiting for me, the long lost 43rd great-grandson of Jacques de Molay, to command them for the Battle of Armageddon to regain Jerusalem.The Roman Catholic Church—who knows the Knights still exist—have sent assassins dressed as EPA investigators in numerous failed attempts to find the entrance to the cave.

The Knights Templar have been sending me coded messages through symbolism in Warner Sallman paintings hanging at Anderson University.

The Knights Templar have ALL of the pieces of the true cross, the holy grail and the original, first cereal box of Dig 'Em's Honey Smacks from 1953.

Area 51 has been nothing but a conventional Air Force base, rather boring, in fact. Roswell? Never happened. These, along with Project Blue Book and many others, were created to keep people searching dead ends and conspiratorial rabbit holes so they never would discover the Knights continued existence.

The US secret shadow (read: "real") government is working with the Catholic Church to prevent my assumption of Templar control in an attempt to prevent the End of Days.

They will set a parameter quarantine after evacuating Hamlin, Sod, Sumerico, Yawkey and Alum Creek. The military will have orders to shoot to kill trespassers.

This all is an elaborate hoax to search for the cavern unhindered from the prying eyes of the public.

Pardon me while I go and watch old reruns of Scooby-Doo for subliminal messages to help me decide what to do next.
Why do people believe outrageous conspiracy theories? More to the point, why do people want to believe them? Why do they devote years, hours, websites and the printed page to distribute their views?

The answer is complex and multi-layered, I'm sure, but I think one answer is rather mundane: boredom. People are bored with their lives. They get tired of letting the cat out each morning before they eat the same breakfast and then leave for their pedestrian jobs. Paying the cable and garbage bills each month is boring. They crave excitement, intrigue, mystery.

It's one reason why so many are enamored with the Mayan calendar and the thought they they may be killed on December 21, 2012. They are so bored with themselves that the thought of global annihilation is almost welcomed.

But the Christian life doesn't have to be boring. To get out of the doldrums one must concentrate not on how things look but on how they are. Consider the Hebrews pronouncement:
But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. (Hebrews 12:22-24 ESV)
Notice the phrase, "you have come." It's a perfect tense. It means that we Christians have come to this Reality in the past and are still there now. Though we walk this terrestrial sphere we are now citizens of heaven. We are the Covenant People of God.

That's exciting! Much more so than some fictional conspiracy theory.